Being a new dad is a transformative experience, one that might change your relationship with work. We had a chat about it with Bruno Simões who recently became the dad of a beautiful baby boy in November.
Bruno is a Software Developer at Focus BC and has been at the company for 4 years. He was on parental leave for a month and then, due to Focus BC’s remote flexibility, he has since been working from home to help his wife as much as possible.
1. How are you adapting to being a father?
Free time? Forget about it, there’s always something to do! When I finish work, I can no longer go watch TV or read a book. I have to take care of my son or do house tasks. Right now, he’s at a phase where he really wants mommy, so I have to help out even more.
2. Would you say things have normalized by now?
At the moment, we’re trying to find a new routine to maintain in the long term, a middle ground between what we used to do and love, such as going to the gym, and our life with the baby. We need a new normal for the family.
3. What were the main challenges of being a new parent?
Before my son was born, I thought it was going to be hard to understand his needs, like when he is crying, or changing his diaper, but it ended up happening quite naturally. Even so, I still have some insecurities about being a dad. For example, I might be wondering if he is sick or if he weighs enough, mainly worries related to his health. Time management has also been a huge challenge. I want to do everything, however, it isn’t possible.
"Still, due to working remotely, I can still help a bit and I can meet my family from time to time. Sometimes I have to be off for an hour or two, then I compensate for later." Bruno Simões, Software Developer at Focus BC
4. What surprised you the most about becoming a parent?
I was surprised by some difficulties with the childbirth process itself and the complications that might come with it. I was also surprised by my child’s behavior. My son is very cheerful and already interacts with us in his way.
5. How did it feel returning to work full-time?
Before coming back to work, we were able to stabilize our life. Now, because I’m working those 8 hours, I can no longer be as present. That was the biggest shock. Still, due to working remotely, I can still help a bit and I can meet my family from time to time. Sometimes I have to be off for an hour or two, then I compensate for later.
6. Do you often feel torn between spending time with your child and working?
I was already prepared for this, so it was easier to accept it. It’s something that will eventually happen to my wife as well. The fact that I’m working from home does help a lot!
"Working from home is a trade-off, I don’t socialize as much with the team, but I can be there for my family in a very different way." Bruno Simões, Software Developer at Focus BC
7. How did Focus BC support you in this new stage of your life?
Before the baby was born, they always trusted me to manage my time best. It was okay If I needed to go to a doctor's appointment or a medical exam, therefore my wife never went alone. In the future, my expectation is that I’ll be able to sneak out sometimes to go to school parent meetings, and other important moments in my child’s life. Working from home is a trade-off, I don’t socialize as much with the team, but I can be there for my family in a very different way.
8. What kind of resources or support networks have been key for you?
We did a practical course to prepare for the baby which was very important. We always trust our pediatrician’s advice and we also follow a forum on this particular topic where moms share advice on raising a baby.
9. What type of policies and benefits should companies put in place to support new parents?
When my wife finishes her parental leave, we won’t have an available daycare for our baby. They’re all full, we are currently waiting for a free spot. Consequently, the possibility of working during different time blocks is important to me. Some companies gift daycare vouchers or similar. In my case, I don’t feel the need for it, but I think it is an interesting approach for companies.
10. Any advice for the new dads out there?
Be open-minded and don’t create too many expectations. However, It’s always important to plan in advance and make sure things go as best as they can. Whether it’s about the place you will give birth in, or about breastfeeding, the child’s personality, etc., there are things we can’t control.
We hope you enjoyed reading about Bruno's personal experience! We pride ourselves on being a human company. The people who work at Focus BC are daughters, sons, mothers, and fathers and that's also what makes them great at their job.